We are very easy going people, having a planned C-Section with our twins was the best choice for us.

Matt and I had only been together for ten months when we found out I was pregnant. A couple of years prior Matt and I met while working together at the same pharmacy but then I moved for a new job not long after. During the two years I was living away I would visit regularly for catch ups as I had formed a close friendship circle with my workmates including Matt. With a little help from some certain middlemen, Matt & I really connected and I moved back a few months later. Things moved pretty quickly and we were so excited about our future together. I moved in with Matt after six months. A few months later I found out I was pregnant.

Shock quickly changed to excitement over the following week. We were having a baby and it felt like a dream! Our first scan was at twelve weeks and the nerves had built up again as it would make it all so real. Looking at the screen we could clearly see two sacks but it wasn't until the ultrasound tech said, "you know you're having twins, don't you?" did it actually sink in. We were having twins?!? Twins hadn't even crossed our minds! I laid there with silent tears rolling down my face and I couldn't see Matt but I could tell he had the same expression on his face. I felt very freaked out but so lucky at the same time. A week later we decided to tell close friends and family and a weight had lifted. The excitement really set in after that and everyone was so happy for us. The twins would be the first grandchildren for both families. 

I kind of knew we had boys on board. I always felt like I'd be a mum of boys and when we found out they were instantly known as Oscar Ronald (baby B) & Wilko James (baby A). My pregnancy was low risk and I had mild morning sickness which only lasted about 8 weeks (this was a welcome surprise after all the crazy stories I had heard). I did have days where I felt heavy and exhausted but most days were good. I was still walking our dogs down to the beach at 37 weeks! We are very easy going people and the only birth plan we had made was a planned c-section delivery at 38 weeks. I just did not want to cause any unnecessary complications for the boys and to be honest I couldn't ever picture Matt and I rushing to emergency in the middle of the night and I didn't like the thought of being induced with two babies so I was very happy with our decision. We booked the c-section with my specialist at 35 weeks after talking through all the options. If the boys decided they wanted to arrive before then I was open to it but that was never going to happen. We even went four wheel driving a week before they were due and nothing!

On the Tuesday morning of May 16th, 2017 we woke, had showers and headed to the hospital for the biggest day of our lives. That afternoon we welcomed our big Wilko 3.3kg and little Oscar 2.3kg into the world. Having Matt by my side and a party of 20 plus doctors and nurses really put my mind at ease. My doctor and the anaesthesiologists were such legends! They kept a smile on my face the whole time with light hearted jokes and laughter (the best medicine). The whole experience from start to finish was so surreal. 

Breastfeeding was probably the hardest part of being a new Mum for me. I breastfed my twin boys for five months. Close to six months which was my ultimate goal. When they were born Oscar was weak, had low sugars and was also having a little trouble breathing. We found out that his side of the fused placenta had started to calcify in the last couple of weeks so we were lucky we had a planned c-section for that day or the outcome would of been a lot different. Oscar and Matt were rushed straight to special care on oxygen and his breathing was stabilized within 30 minutes. A feeding tube was inserted so he could be fed special formula to stabilize his sugar levels. 

Meanwhile, I was just coming out of theater with my other big healthy boy Wilko. He was placed one my belly and I watched him climb his way up to my breast. It felt so primitive and natural! We had instant skin to skin contact and I'm so sad that Oscar had missed that opportunity but we all spent time together just after that.

Having one baby in the ward with us and one baby in the special care nursery made the next six days in hospital a massive sleep deprived juggling act. Thank god for modern medicine! I never felt so exhausted and run down. I would feed Wilko every three hours, and in between I would go to special care and pump for Oscar and have skin to skin contact. I barely had time to eat and shower. Oscar didn't have a strong latch as he was a sleepy bub and he needed a lot of latching practice as he didn't get that initial feed like Wilko, so he continued to get fed through a tube. I worked my butt off to get him to breastfeed because then we would be be able to go home. His tube was removed on the fourth night, he moved back to the ward with us and on the sixth day we successfully tandem breastfed, they passed all their tests and we were on our way home! 

We breastfed/express fed for about five weeks and then we started formula top ups as I was struggling to keep up with these two hungry little gremlins. I had one piranha (Wilko) and one sleepy gentle feeder (Oscar). My boobs were so confused with how much milk they had to produce and I was getting so stressed trying to express the dwindling amount of milk I was making for them. It was so draining and it was really affecting my mental state. I felt so run down and I really wasn't looking after myself which in return was also affecting my supply. I felt like I wasn't spending quality time with the boys because I was so worried about feeding them but, don't get me wrong, we had some special breastfeeding moments like when they were eight weeks old and we went to a music festival. I was feeding them in the back row and felt like a super mum!

By the fourth month feeds were mainly formula feeds or expressed. The end of breastfeeding arrived when one night I sat the 150ml of breast milk that I pumped for thirty-five minutes down on the bench and I accidentally knocked it over! It was the straw that broke the camels back. I lost it and bawled my eyes out! My liquid gold!! I honestly felt like wiping it up and squeezing it back in the bottle! Matt gave me a hug and I knew it was time to give it up. I had done my best and I instantly felt a weight lifted off my shoulders! I felt so much better after that night. I loved bonding with the boys during their formula feeds. I had a moment of clarity. I had more time for myself which in return made me a better mum.

Matt has been my rock from the beginning. He has excepted all of this with open arms from the start, he was there through every appointment and scan, he stayed every night with us in hospital on a very uncomfortable couch and we have been a solid Mum & Dad team ever since. Towards the end of the pregnancy I did have some thoughts of regret.. wanting a little more time as just the two of us as everything had happened so quickly but now I wouldn't have it any other way! I can honestly say that the last three years have been the best years of my life and I didn't plan a thing! 

Kim - Mom of - Oscar & Wilko - Australia

You can follow Kim on Instagram @kim_theboys

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