Updated: Jun 22
My husband, Freek, and I met when we were 16 (I'm now 32), but it took us a few years to become a couple. Once we actually became boyfriend and girlfriend, we basically moved in together after a few months. We lived in Amsterdam for a few years, then quit our jobs and sold all of our stuff to travel the world. After that year, we moved to Oslo, Norway, got married in a vineyard in France, and decided to start trying for a baby.
That journey ended up taking 3 years. Going through years of infertility is far from easy, but we got through it, together. While we were on the waiting list for IVF, I ended up healing my body the natural way and we conceived our baby boy on Christmas eve of 2016.
In the 2 weeks after that Christmas, I was so calm. For the first time in years, I knew something was just so right. Everything in me slowed down. My yoga practice suddenly became really slow, I felt the need to write so much and I felt so confident. When I took that pregnancy test, on an early Friday morning, I wasn't even nervous. When it showed a very faint line, I knew it was right. My husband, though, wanted a big fat line, so we decided to test again, two days later while we were on a cabin trip with friends. I peed, took the stick with me to our bedroom, and there it said "pregnant 4-5 weeks". The fact that the word "pregnant" was clearly to be seen was for me, after all these years of waiting and hoping, made me so so so happy. I didn't cry. We screamed with a pillow on our face to not wake our friends. It is still one of my favorite memories of all time.
I had a rough pregnancy thanks to Hyperemesdis and a not so great labor and birth (a 3 day labor ended up in an emergency c-section, our baby Sven wasn't breathing and it took a long time before I actually got to see him). But after a few days of breastfeeding, connecting and lots of naps, something started to lift.
Our baby was so calm and content, we bonded and the love between us was growing every day. Although I missed out on that beautiful dose of hormones and that flood of love right after birth, we grew it together and motherhood came suddenly so easy to me. I'm pretty sure that breastfeeding saved me. I didn't get the opportunity to push my baby out, I was taken away from him the first few hours after he was born, but after that, I was the only one person who fed him. That gave me comfort and finally made me really feel like a mother.
Claudia - Mom of Sven - Oslo, Norway
Claudia runs Sanga Yoga Studio in Oslo - you can follow her on Instagram @sangayoga